When I started this blog one year ago, I had two reasons. One, I wanted to use blogging as a way to organize my own thoughts and feelings. I’m an introverted person who also experiences social anxiety, and unfortunately I think I’ve allowed that to hold me back in many ways. I want to realize my potential and overcome my fears and insecurities.
Two, I hoped to inspire others to do the same. Before we can start to work on ourselves, we have to be real honest and identify our problems. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it in the long run.
I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve hardly used this blog at all. I’ve got about eight drafts saved, but I’m not happy enough with them to share just yet. However, I have been making an active effort to improve over the past year.
2014 consisted of two break-ups. After stepping out of my comfort zone long enough to date around, I’ve found that for now I’d rather be by myself and focus on the next step in my life (finding a “big girl job” post college). I learned a lot by meeting new people. I learned that I can become involved too quickly, without taking a breather to decide if it’s what I really want. I’ve also realized that being in a relationship won’t fix my problems and that I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else.
This year I have also formed many new friendships with amazing girls who are brilliant, hilarious, and inspiring. Growing up, I didn’t have many friends because I was too shy to put myself out there. I’ve learned what a blessing it is to have them and that no matter who you are, there is someone out there that will understand you, quirks and all. You’ve just got to open up.
I’ve also spent more time with family, something that used to give me serious anxiety. If you knew my family, you’d think I’m nuts because they are some of the greatest people you will ever meet. Seriously, I lucked out. I’d always been intimidated by my family–everyone is so talented, brilliant, and outgoing. I felt like a black sheep until I took the time to get to know everyone better, and then I realized that they aren’t all judging me. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. The great thing about family is that they’re always there if you need them, and no one will love you more.
As someone who has never identified as a “people person,” this year I am grateful for the people in my life, old and new. At the end of the day, relationships are all that we have. They may be a bit of work at times, but they’re worth it.